Hygiene Problems
by PotterAngel
Summary: Completed(duh) Snape collects farts.The characters have hygiene problems.This story is really funny!Me and my friend were craking up laughing when we wrote it so don't be grossed out by the title!Please RR!


A/N:  
Me, Cassandra Larousse [HarryPotterAngel], and my best friend, Hannah Parker [PotterPrincess], came up with this story after reading an article that some stupid guy named paul wrote about Harry never taking a bath/pee/dump in the books so he has Hygiene problems.The guy who wrote that article is a complete idiot, b/c people don't want to read about someone taking a bath/pee/dump.We also had a little help from my mom too! But in this case the fanfiction is funny so please RR!  
  
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Hygiene Problems  
  
One beautiful morning.Harry woke up.He got dressed.He looked around for something he forgot.Deoderant!Then he goes pee!He makes sure to wash his hands after that piss.  
  
Harry has devination first today.Afterwards he has a bad case of diarea and rushes off to the loos.When he get there...THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!He runs upstairs, but it took to long and with all that running... it was to late.He changes his underwear.He doesn't know what to do with the shitty underwear.He throws it out the window.  
  
Next Harry has potions.As potions ends Professor Sape dropped some papers and bends down to pick them up just as Harry walks out.As Harry passes by Snape he farted in Snapes face.  
  
*Sniff* *Sniff*  
  
'I recognize that fart...,' thinks Snape, '...It smells just like James' fart!'  
  
Snape grabbed a jar off of his desk and collected Harry's fart.  
  
"Mmmmm...Smells good," said Snape.  
  
At dinner Ron and Hermione were snogging when Harry farted.Ginny giggled.  
  
Then Dumbldore let out a huge fart to let them know he was going to make an announcement.Snape grabbed another jar and labeled it Dumbldore.Then he went back to sniffing his other jar witch was now labeled H. Potter.  
  
"Bean Burrito Fart Fiasco," he said then he sat down.  
  
Bean Burrito's and some other foods appeared before them.  
  
Harry lipread Snape saying, "Oh...it smells just like James' fart!"  
  
'Flashback:'  
James,Sirius,Lupin,and Wormtail were sitting at the dinner table eating bean burrito's when James farted.Snape ran over with a jar and caught the fart.  
'End of Flashback:'  
  
Hagrid belched loudly which echoed in the great hall.McGonagall started giggling at Hagrid's belch and with each giggle let out a small fart.Snape grabbed a jar, labeled it McGonagall, and held it near her bum as she farted.  
  
Later in the common room there was a really bad smell.It smelled as if someone let a dungbomb off.  
  
Ron and Hermione were on the couch snogging.Harry was in front of the fire on the floor, doing homework.  
  
"What is that smell?!" asked Ron.  
  
"That was me," said Hermione.  
  
"Oh," replied Ron.They continued snogging and farting.  
  
"What did you eat!?!?" asked Harry after a while.  
  
"Same as you... bean burrito!" she replied.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Harry felt alone.He had no one to snog and fart with.Suddenly Ginny appeared in the common room.  
  
"Wanna snog and fart?" Harry asked Ginny.  
  
"Sure!"  
  
So they all farted and snogged together.  
  
The next morning they had bean burrito leftovers.Ron,Hermione,Harry,and Ginny were all farting together.Suddenly McGonagall started having a giggle fit.She stood up, and all around her was a puddle of pee.The thing was she didn't know why she was giggling.  
  
Then, four Centaurs burst into the room carrying Umbidge.She was screaming.Suddenly, she farted and stunk up the entire hall.A few people ran out.As much as it stank, Snape grabbed a jar, and caught some of the fart.She farted again.The centaurs ran out two of them shot arrows into her bum, but that only made her fart more.  
  
Snape ran out clutching his jar.He ran to his office.He labeled the jar Umbridge, Warning: Do not open.  
  
He placed it on his shelf next to the jar labeled Voldemort.He stepped back to look at his collection.  
On his shelf there were jars:  
Voldemort  
Umbridge  
James  
Sirius  
Lupin  
Wormtail  
Dumbldore  
McGonagall  
Hagrid  
The Weasleys  
Then there was a pair of shitty underwear that had a tag on it that said Potter.  
Then there were more jars:  
H. Potter  
Malfoy  
Crabbe & Goyle  
Then on the very end a really big jar labeled: Myself.  
  
Snape smiled to himself seeing his collection of fart jars ..... and shitty underwear.  
  
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A/N: We hope you enjoyed the story! Wasn't it funny?Harry and his Hygiene problem! hehe. *evil grin* :) 


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